62. What next?

I spent Easter with my family. This year I hosted. My 87 and 86 year old parents were there. My sister, brother-in-law, nephew and his girlfriend, my daughter, her fiance, and dog were there. All were vaccinated except one. He wore a mask. We kept a window and door open for cross ventilation but other than that, it felt like things were normal.

Afterward, in a conversation with my dad, I admitted that we were all rather cavalier about the day. But the truth is, for now, it would appear we were safe. It has been a week and a half and no one is sick. We were all still wearing masks and taking precautions prior to the weekend, so the idea that one of us would become ill would be hard to fathom. But I had that sense of dread.

When will we feel safe again? When will this be over? Facebook reminds me how far we’ve come. It keeps sending me memories from last year of videos I made to pass on information. My work as a Registered Nurse meant I was the translator of medical jargon for my patients. I felt I could be of service by taking on that role again.

I remember trying to tune out the sound of ambulances while making the videos. I can hear them now, in every video. They were a constant. I also remember the constant conscious effort to keep myself calm. “As long as I wear a mask, as long as I social distance. I will be safe.” I knew that to be true because of my training and experience but it crept in.

I remember breaking down at one point with my sister on the phone because I was so scared for my family. My son - an MD working in a hospital in St. Louis, where folks weren’t taking the virus seriously, was at risk. I was also scared for my parents, sequestered in Massachusetts, afraid to go to the store, anywhere. Both were vulnerable and I was sandwiched. The thought of losing either because someone couldn’t handle wearing a mask broke me.

But two weekends ago, I experienced a day of community. Five hours surrounded by my family, without fear. We forget during that period, about the virus. We felt safe and happy that afternoon and early evening. We gathered around a meal, and it felt like old times. It was magic.

It has been 5 months since my son was vaccinated, 2 months for my parents. Most of my family have been vaccinated now. Some used Moderna, some Pfizer, and some J&J. All are well. No clots. Some fevers, body aches, and sore arms but that means the immune system is doing its thing.

I’m breathing easy most of the time. I wish that for our country. I wish that for our world.

**** On another note, it looks like I’m going to be opening a new Spiral Herbal Remedies shop in Brooklyn soon. I closed my SoHo shop in January when the streets of Manhattan became quiet. There was no mass exit in Brooklyn. The neighborhood windows are all still lit at night.

I’m negotiating a lease on a gorgeous spot with lots of foot traffic, in a beautiful community. I will let you know all the details when it’s done.

I’ve also applied to be a puppy mama! That won’t happen until the summer or fall because I want time to settle into the new shop. I look forward to having space in my apartment again after moving my shop back into my shop. :)) That will free up space for a furry companion. She’ll be walking to work with me and be my official shop dog. Any of you who came by the old shop know that Spiral Herbal Remedies has always been dog-friendly and that I keep a supply of dog treats for our little sidekicks. Now, a big wet nose will greet your dog when they walk in. Don’t worry, if you’re not a dog person, she will be well trained and not allowed near you.

In the spirit of Covid, all is moving at a snail’s pace and my patience is being challenged on many levels. But everything is shifting, things are looking up and I’m excited! Happy Spring everyone, enjoy this period of transformation!