31. Is Time on your side?
"How did it get so late so soon." Suess
“Those who make the worst use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity.” Jean de La Bruyere
Do you spend time thinking about time? What if you knew that you had enough time to do everything you wished? Would it change the way you spend your day?
A few years ago, I flipped the narrative and stopped acting like Alice's proverbial bunny. Of all things, it was a random internet meme that shifted my perspective - one of those questionnaires that predicted how long I would live. I would live to be 106. And for some reason I believed it. For some reason, it resonated with me. It made me smile. Suddenly anything was possible. If I had another 50 or so years, I imagined all that I could accomplish, all that I could do.
What followed was a peace of mind I hadn't experienced before. Time was on my side for once. I gave myself permission to explore every tangent, the abandon to examine and mine every sweet distraction. The script was tossed aside and regimented, single minded, repetitive, boring, frustrating pursuit of some imagined path to success, fame, peace, love and joy was abandoned. Instead, I followed my mind. If something interested me, I leaned in. If leaning in brought me to some other place of fascination, I leaned into that. And so on.
This gift has allowed me hours of reflection and insightfulness. When the past rises up, I experience it again but through a new lense. I have time to dawdle, to rest... or not rest, to stay out late or stay home watching senseless movies or working on a project until the early morning. Time has become my patient friend, ever present, no longer annoying. If I don't get to something? It wasn't meant to be, something else always comes up.
And here I am with a perimeter of practices, friends and family that buoy and embrace me. Crocheted fertility sculptures and performative costumes, a project space that supports and builds community, a (mostly social) book group accompanied by friends and literature that trigger thought and action, Herbalism which aligns me with ancestors, provides an outlet for knowledge acquired as a Registered Nurse and Mother and anchors me with a deeply inspiring community. My two adult children give me time when they have it. I no longer worry about how much. They have rich, full lives. My parents are thriving and happy, also living rich, full lives. My siblings pick up the phone, respond to texts and our time together is precious, without guilt. Old friends visit, circle, communicate and connect.
Today, my gift to you is this: You will live to be 106.
Just for today, allow yourself to believe. Just for today, notice if anything shifts.
If you're curious about some of my tangents, see below.
I'll be part of a panel discussion at A.I.R on April 6th during the Take Back Your Body exhibition by Daria Dorosh. We'll be talking about the Sheela na gig, thought to represent the Irish Deity, Cailleach, whose likeness adorns hundreds of Romanesque churches around Ireland and Britain. She is the goddess of summer and winter, creator of life and death, mythical crone, wise woman, Healer.
I'll also be participating in a panel discussion at El Museo de los Sures, on March 24, 5-6pm. for the exhibition, Darkness Visible by Simone Couto We'll be talking about the landscape and our relationship to it as humans.
Come June, I'll be returning to Mildred's Lane as a Visiting Guest Artist, for the Wilding, Wasting, Workstyling Session, June 18th - 24th. I'll be sharing Herbalism knowledge while foraging, drying and processing plants and fungi during this inspiring Artist Residency run by J. Morgan Puett and Mark Dion.
And lastly, Spiral Herbal Remedies will return once again to Artists and Fleas in Williamsburg. (Every Saturday and Sunday from 10-7). The shop carries Medicinal Mushroom Tinctures, CBD Tincture and Salve, Salve for Eczema, a Tincture for Memory and More. This week I'm introducing Comb Again Serum, for Hair loss due to Alopecia or Male Pattern Balding. And Yoni Yes! a Yoni healing, CBD infused lube, for pain during intercourse. Did you know that this affects a third of all women, regardless of age?
This weekend at Artists and Fleas and coming soon to my Spiral Herbal Remedies website.
Below is a preview of a costume I'm making for an upcoming performance: Becoming Cailleach based on the Sheela na gig, whose likeness appears on hundreds of Romanesque churches throughout Ireland and thought to be an iteration of the Cailleach. She has merged with Yoni, Tree Goddess, and the Willendorf Venus, representing the cyclical nature of life and death, abundance and infinity.
