7. Cork IV
I mentioned some of my adventures with driving in Ireland earlier. Here are some highlights.
These words, "Keep left, keep left, keep left."
"Look right!" "LOOK RIGHT!!!" That was close. Breath."
Screeeeeeeeeeeeech! "UH OH. I took that corner a bit too close. Oh man, how do I put this in reverse? Why did I do this? I can't shift with my left hand. NO! No, no, no, no, no no no no. Reverse. Push it down, all the way over." " What if I take my foot off the brake and just glide forward a bit?"
"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech. That's it then. Good thing I took the insurance."
"THUMP! Did I hit something??? What??? Oh crap, I hit a street light." "It's a break-away mirror." "Pull over. Breath" "Stop staring at me, it was just a street light." "I have insurance."
The streets were at most a foot or two wider than my car. Parking was allowed on both sides and cars parked facing any direction, which often lead me to believe I was driving down a one way street the wrong way. (PANIC!!!) There are no one way streets in Ireland.
"Keep left, look right. Keep left, look right. Keep left, look right." "Breath."
"There's plenty of room, there's plenty of room. AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! F*&$$#$@&!!!!! F&^%^% F$#@$* F*&^*&%!!!!!!"
"That's a long drop off that cliff. Move right a little, you're off the road. Get in the road. THAT'S A CAR!!" "Keep left, you're ok, there's plenty of room. Breath."
"You're a huge truck. You're driving awfully fast." "Oh god, please don't hit me, DON'T HIT ME!" Breath."
"It's dark, this road is so windy. Is this a highway? How fast should I go? Why am I driving at night? Should have left earlier. Relax. You're fine. Keep left, keep left, keep left. A car!!!! Where's the line?
"Really??? Right on my tail? I'm pulling over. Yes, go, go get in front of me, I'll follow. Hey, I can drive fast now!!!!! Breath."
"Wait! Why isn't Google talking to me any more? Where am I? Don't look down. Pull over. Argh, no coverage. Yeah, well that was a tricky intersection. Should not have followed that car. Up here? It's steep. This direction, let's see. There's the road. Cars. We're good.
"I hope someone drives up behind me so I can follow them. Where am I? It's so dark. This road is so windy." "Really??? Right on my tail? I'm pulling over. Yes, go, go get in front of me, I'll follow. Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!!!! There you are. Hey, I can drive fast now!!!!! Breathe."